Man, when I was like 16 I got so sick of being made fun of for being the fat kid that I took an axe down inna woods, chopped down a tree, and started doing log-lifts all the time. I got strong as fuck, but I didn’t lose no weight. I actually got bigger.
Same thing happened when I got into fighting. I got even stronger, and I got *fast*, man, and nimble, like a cat. Still chubby.
Body-building culture is a bunch of crap, my dude. Functional muscle is not necessarily toned or lean. You can be swole as hell and still be heavy. And that’s cool.
Embrace your inner barbarian. And when fatphobic little gym twinks try to body shame you, you should DESTROY THEM with your MIGHTY AXE
Can comfirm, i am Quite Fat ™ but i still hit my punching bag hard enough last week make it touch the ceiling and broke a finger in the process
You know, I train with (martial arts) a bunch of dudes, and a few bodybuilders have showed up over the years.
And every damn one of those huge shredded motherfuckers has the endurance of a fucking newborn puppy. Fifteen minutes into warmups and they’re panting for air like like they’re about to die. I’ve sparred them and every one of them telegraphs their moves about two weeks in advance, and are slower than my dead grandpa because their huge useless muscles get in the damn way.
Now. I also work with a couple of guys who are not weightlifters. They do, however, do very physical jobs and are Big Dudes. Picture this sort of build.
No abs to speak of, a bit of a tummy, and those motherfuckers can pick up one of the weightlifters and throw them.
And they’re fast. Like, unfair fast.
Bodybuilding culture is bullshit. Embrace your status as a giant barbarian and if anyone gives you crap throw them off a mountain.
This is true for all humans, too!
At my heaviest (well over 300lbs) I still ran an 11 minute mile (pre-disability). And even when I was at my most active, and training intensely, I was never hardbodied despite working out full time. Functional muscle for me looks like horse legs and a big muscular butt with a soft tummy and big arms.
I’m built like a Celtic Warrior Goddess and I will never have a flat tummy and toned arms and that is fine by me because I could snap a grown man in half.
Yes!
Have you seen olympic powerlifters?
This is Sarah Robles, on the USA Olympic Powerlifting team.
Skinny? No. Could pick me up with one arm? Absofuckinglutely.
Sarah Robles was once in an auto accident. She braced her arms against the steering wheel & by main force held it back from smashing her in the chest.
The scene in Shrek 2 when the Fairy Godmother sings I need a Hero when the giant gingerbread man attacks the castle is still the greatest scene in cinema of all times
I was told recently about a school that was shamed into changing its school motto. The motto was “I hear, I see, I learn.” Nothing wrong with that per se. Unfortunately the motto was in Latin, and the Latin for “I hear, I see, I learn” is “audio, video, disco”.
What the fuck that’s the best school motto ever change it back
Your yearly reminder that “I learn through suffering” can be translated into Latin as “Disco Inferno.”
“This video of this
adorable little girl encouraging her Dad while he tries to do her hair,
is just what we needed to brighten up our day.” [X]
[Dad: How’m I doing on your hair?
Child: Good!
Dad: Let’s see, do I need more grease?
Child: Yes. You need more grease on there.
Dad: More grease? And then what?
Child: And then you gonna need to brush it, and then you put a band on there.
Dad: A band on it?
Child: Yeah!
Dad: Aww..
Child: You’re getting it through! You’re almost done! You’re doing a good job!
Dad: Aww, thank you, sweetheart, so much! Daddy’s trying, doing the best I can. Thank you so much.
Child: You’re welcome!
Dad: I’m almost done!
Child: You been doing great!
Dad: Aw baby, thank you so much, you’re so encouraging to Dad. Thank you.
Child: You’re welcome.
Dad: I really appreciate you so much. You’re so awesome. Daddy getting your ponytails ready for school.]
Interrupting all the political ugliness to make you melt with cute.
Me as a father
this is so pure
Kids that age are parrots of tone and phrasing. So the whole bit with “You’re getting it through! You’re almost done! You’re doing a good job!” means that there is at least one adult, if not more, in her life that regularly talks to her that way.
